I had to learn to live again

Ever since i can remember i always hated the idea that there is only one person on this whole world made special of you. That out of 7 billion people you have only one other soul that is destined to be with you and make you happy, i have always believed in infinite possibilities. We as people are only given 365 days, 24 hours and limited time to make our own special mark on the world. Weather we become the president of the United States, doctor, or local business owner we all have dreams. Some being small others being big a dream is a dream and a dream is something special and powerful that people have the ability to have. A dream is easy to have but difficult to pursue, some may say ” dreams don’t work unless you do” I have to counter that and say when i was a child around the age of ten i told anybody who would listen what my dreams were. Back at the age my dreams ranged from becoming the first women president to becoming the next Beyonce. And people would look me in my eyes and say things like ” that’s amazing” and ” you can do it T’yanna, impossible is nothing” . Then i had the people who would say ” there is no way” and ” that is 1 to a million chance go happening.” And still to this day i can still hear those people telling me that and can still sometimes feel that uneasy feeling when your feelings just got hurt. The joy leaving your body because somebody just told you your dream was ”impossible ” and ”unrealistic”, That feeling when you’re just completely shattered because something you love, something you think about day and night was simply just discussed about like it was some funny joke told at the dinner table on christmas day. That feeling never really goes away after you get it, it makes its home in your mind. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth also negative thoughts in your head. As if people doubting you and your dreams wasn’t enough you begin to doubt yourself and also your dream. After experiencing this feeling i slowly started to stop dreaming. I lowered my standards for myself and expatiations of what i wanted out of life, So that i wouldn’t have to hear other people tell me what i was dreaming was ”crazy” and this way all they could say to me was ” that’s nice”. With that happening to me all 4 years of high school when people would ask me, ” what do you want to be when you grow up?” or ” what is your major going to be when you begin college?’ Instead of responding i wanted to become a famous Television host and be a licensed veterinarian i would respond with some bullshit excuse, or ” I’m not going to school” knowing i was lying i had just learned in order to protect your feelings and dream it was better to never tell anybody because then they couldn’t say anything about it. The mind blowing thing about the whole situation thing is from the day we are born we are taught to ”dream big and dream free”, Then around the age of 12 and up we are suddenly told to get realistic with our dreams, That what we want an d inspire to be isn’t ”realistic” that ” it won’t pay any bills” or that ” we aren’t smart enough” lastly ” only certain people are made for that, and you aren’t that type of person”. By the age of 14 i had given up on the idea of my dreams. i lost the desire to dream, I became so scared of the idea of rejection and the thought of me working so hard for my dream to have it never work out. I went living like this from the age of twelve all the way up to the age of 17. Then one fateful day, May 21st 2015 to be exact i realized who i had become wasn’t me. All i could think about was little me, I had always told people i would change the world, i would be the girl on tv and veterinarian when i was’t on tv. I was the little girl who wasn’t afraid to speak up and tell people what it was i wanted to do… so why should i become this timid people pleaser now? From that day i promised myself i would become the person that i was put on this earth to be. Since then i have dreamed more then i have ever in my whole life. I have started my own blog T’yanna Tells which i take major pride and joy in, i have been working with animals every chance i get because i love them more then the average person. I am becoming the girl i have always dreamed of when i was younger. I am working, going to school, writing daily on my blog, building up my youtube channel, working with animals, my dream is slowly but surely coming true. dreams is what this world needs it more then ever now, People are giving up on themselves and their dreams daily because people don’t care to listen to them, and doubt them. And i personally believe a dream is the most beautiful and powerful thing a person can have, because when you think about it everything around us came from somebody, and that somebody had to have had a dream.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s