Being T’yanna

I wish i was born simple. I wish i had the ability to listen to my dad when he told me ” go to college, get a degree, live a nice life” i wish it was all that simple. Instead i want to do the complete opposite, I want to go to college but not for some business degree or to become some world respected doctor all i seem to want to do is write. I want to write about the random people on the street, the old friends that are now strangers,the boy i thought i loved, everything that amuses me or captures my attention i just want to write about it. The bad part about wanting to write is people not understanding the desire to write, to some it’s just a hobby or phase, something i’m bound to grow out of and come to reality and pursue something worth money. But money can’t buy happiness, Granted i do get happy when i see my check deposited and I’m working with a little something something but after a hour or 3 goes by i am reminded about everything i am not happy about. And i could buy a new pair of shoes or a new purse to try to suppress the feeling but it is always still there. I hate the feeling of waisting my time and in college with the classes i am taking i feel like i am waisting my time. The common core required classes are nothing but repeating what i did the past 4 years in high school, and if i passed them in the past i shouldn’t be required to prove to the damn system again that i can do it now. I can;t wait for the 2 years to pass and all the shitty uncalled for classes to be done so i can finally learn about the things i have a passion for, but in order to grow and gain i have to survive the storm, so that’s what i’m doing. i’m going to ride this wave to get to bigger and better things, and i will be beyond expressive about things that piss me off and that i don’t like because i am not a simple person. I have so many people voicing their opinions about my choices and preferences to do with my life and the whole reason i am the way i am is because I’m terrified of becoming simple. I’m scared of going to college getting my bachelors falling in love starting a family growing old and dying and never really living… i won;t do it. I have came to the conclusion i am not the child my parents are going to be bragging about at family gatherings and post on Facebook. I’m not the sibling that is going to have the biggest house and best paying job, however i’m going to be the most blunt and love my career and life because i won’t let people dictate it. My whole family has a plan, and i have a vision i don’t know where i’m going next but i know i’m going places and it’s not the cliche american modern day lifestyle, i know that much.

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