being raised by my dad i was taught at a very young age, to never play myself. If it came to worth, however with life as we all manage to do we play ourself. I can write a book on the times i have managed to play myself. Like you would think i get paid for the amount of times i play myself. wheather it was buying something i knew was wayyy out of what i need, or trying to uphold friendhips knowing i did not care if we fell our or remained friends. I have seemed to become the master of wasting my own time, and it is messed up. However i see where i see my flaws and instead of kicking myself about my mess ups i am going to share so i can save face for some of you guys, and osme of you guys can read and relate like ” damn i am not the only one who did that” so here are 2 major departments where i sucessfully managed to play the hell out of myself.
I have managed to somehow lose friends faster then i lose the backings to my ear rrings. And i think a major reason of why this happens is becasue people are fake. It is like the second you decide you want to better yourself and in ways grow up people switch to the person they always say they will never be. I had friends become my friend sould for the purpose to spy for another girl, i had friends stop being my friends over boys, hell i even had a friend who stopped being my friend because i told her qabout herelf and her other friend who i may mention is just disgusting. However i am grateful for all of them due to the fact they helped me grow and learn. The worst thing though is a friend who sticks around even though they do not like you. And trust me if you are that friend people know and they are aware, and talking down on your friend is nothing but weak and shows how intimidated you are. in 18 years i probaly have had at least 70 associates and literally 3 friends. I played myself by trying to keep freindships going when i knew it was ebver meant to be so instead of playing yourself my friends…. LET IT GO friendships do not pay bills, and sure as hell do not make you money.
I used to be the one who was all into the fantasy world and crap like that, when it came to relationships. I am laughing as i type this because everything i have onced was all about i now laugh at people for thinking exsist. Me, T’yanna Angeline was the queen of believing the lies of guys. I was young, i was stupid i was still gorwing up. I had my dad school me on every line a guy uses and when i would meet one i like i would disregard everything my dad had told me. And in the process i would shockingly get my feelings hurt… shocking right. i think after taking a step back and analyzing every expierence i had ever had with a boy, i had realzied in the mist of playing me they had also managed to play theirself. Never make a guy feel like you need them becasue you don’t, don’t ever look for a guy to make ou feel attractive look in the mirror and hype yourself up, just never down play yourself for no boy, and vise versa for guys. If they want you they will make time for you and if they dont fuck then. excuse my french but it is that simple.
Time changes and so do people, make sure you are aware and can kep up with the change. i look back on myself for when i was 16 to me now 18 turning 19 and i don’t think i will ever be the same as i was then and 2 years from now i don’t think i will be the same. I grow up i learn to love things and i start to really dislike things. One of those things is playing myself, i will probably still manage to play myself here and there but it will not be as often.
If you read this and feel like you are a person i have discussed you are probably right and thank you. Becasue I am only to keep getting better everyday and i hope you being the shady person you were was worth it.