Finishing the novel

I feel like I have lived the typical cliché summer movie. I have done crazy things and have had a summer thing and now here i am planning for tomorrow’s classes, a wonderful 17 credit semester while working Monday Friday. And usually this kind of things hurt people’s feelings, due to the fact they have to leave fantasy world and come back into reality. And years past this idea used to bother me simply because i enjoyed my fantasy life but the one thing about fairytale stories is they do not always end in the readers favor, and mine was far from what would be considered a fan favorite.

The summer of 16 I was 18 most through it, just finally legal to get into clubs and bars, buy things, go places and it was literally a fun little world. There were no responsibilities no classwork then you know in the summer you  meet new people and try new things and you become invested. The problem with real world and fairytale world is that one chapter in each of the worlds comes to a close. My summer crush, freshmen craze is not all that i had imagined. I viewed him as everything i had ever wanted and not the person that he truly was. When you have an idea of how somebody should be and how they should act you set yourself up for failure. I have learned that i can not make somebody who i want them to be, i can only accept them for who they are and pray they accept me for who i am.

Summer has come and passed, and i have lived it up, i am looking at pictures and videos from all i have done, reading text messages and just realizing its months like these, when you live your life with no thoughts about tomorrow simply because you are living for the moment and in the day. you literally glow in the summer because you are free to grow and explore no school, just work or summer classes if you took them like me you just are free. And within june-last week of august you start to find glimpse and pieces of who you are and what you want. But sadly when summer ends you lose and you lose a lot.

The summer tan begins to fade, your light hair goes back to the darker shade, the summer clothes get put away and you start  to dress for the cold. You also go back to reality. the constant school work and working, no more staying out till 3 exploring with your friends or our summer love you go back to what you know, you go back to real life. And as i write this i realize that’s what i am doing now. I have already got my folders and notebooks organized my schedule made for school and work and as i read over the planner there’s no more, road trip, cedar pointe, or greektown adventures, its back to school and work. Theres no more names of people i plan to see, no more dates set aside to dummy missions, no more pop ups at his place, its like reading your favorite book. you live for the turn of the page and when you hit the end you just sit there and think, what now? And the truth it put the book down and go back to relaity. The escape of a good story and a good time is something everybody needs once in a while, but it is reality which makes times like finishing the book a sad yet beautiful moment. You realize the story was a minor break from the harsh truth but you then realize your reality is almost a little better than the perfect story simply because you learn and grow.

 

I am thankful for all the things i have done this summer. I am happy i had fallen for somebody and took the chance with them, and learned about them and all the little things and stories that made them who they were. From them showing me their prized safe and ring, to the stories of their childhood and how they molded them into the person they are today. I am happy for every little adventure that came my way, from watching the drum battles in greektown to little stake outs at random places hell i am happy i just had the chance to be healthy all summer and go everywhere i had desired. Mostly i am happy i got the chance to be a little reckless and live my version of my favorite novel. My first summer being on my own and doing as i wanted and i had lived my favorite novel. I was the girl who had done everything she could only dream of and met and reconnected with some people that there is nobody else like them on this planet, and mostly i am glad i have learned my reality is better then my novel due to the fact i grow in this world. I learned the boy is not always the dream you have in your head, the people in your life aren’t always meant to be there forever, and you aren’t meant to be somebodys version of perfect, you are supposed to be your own perfect.

 

The innocence i held in the beginning of summer was the idea that fairytales are real and end in your favor, but they don’t. Sometimes you lose people you love and realize you will never get to relive the perfect nights ever again, that you will never be who you were at that exact moment in that place. I had lost the sense that everything will play in your favor because you do everything right but you don’t life does not work like that.  you fall in love and you end up broken sometimes, and it does not have to be with somebody else it can be with yourself or a place but realize your novel this summer was only a beginning. do not let your failed summer love, or your dreaded calc class and 15 credit semester discourage you from how beautiful your reality actually is. embrace your summer and how beautiful it was but look forward and realize the fall is the best season simply because it cleans away the mess that the lost of innocence created. Love your reality simply because you only get one where you can get a million of different fairytales.

 

 

sincerely, T’yanna

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Finishing the novel

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s