Just dead them.

I realized i am over people and work, and not in a general way more like an individual way. I am in a place where i am growing and want to grow, and i do not want certain people around me anymore, and that in itself is the first step i think i have let just happen naturally. I stopped texting people back, answering calls, and mostly i have stopped forcing people to show a genuine interest in how my life is going. I can say i have learned how to love myself for myself and realized i do not need anybody. granted i do want people in my life but they are not a factor that will decide if i live to see another day, that is on god and me ( being if i do something stupid that plays with my life). The people you surround yourself with determines how you will live and who you will grow into.

 

Not everybody is your friend.

My biggest problem was thinking the people around me were for me. Just because a person smiles, laughs, and goes out with you does not make them your friend. People will hang around others when it is beneficial when you provide something that they can not provide for themselves. And i have and had people like that around me and it is draining. I think people allow it simply because they feel as if they do not want to be alone and that they may just enjoy the others person company however, there are 7 billion people in this world and trust me you lose 1 friend you will gain 5 new ones.  I have been around people and just watch how they act and let me tell you people think that you are oblivious when you just know.

 

Making people uncomfortable is the first step to getting it all together 

Everytime i had began to get my life together i made people around me very uncomfortable, that is why i do not share what i do anymore. And if i do with somebody it is because i trust them and personally me trusting you is equal to me saying i love you. When i share i usually have already finished what i was planning anyways. But the point here is when you dream big and think outside the average little box million people live in they get very uncomfortable. I bet i would have way more friends and acceptance if i kept myself in box of going to school working and aspiring for the job that pays 50,000 up nice house with a dog and blah blah blah. God forbid you ever tell somebody you want a job that is commission based and want a nice fast car and big house, i have seen that shake people to the core. They will either tell you good luck or get real. But then these same people turn around and support strangers or others and their ” good lucky”or ” get real” dreams and that is probably the most disrespectful thing i have ever encountered but yet my biggest motivation.

Favors

People are takers, we all take not all of us are givers, we freeze when it is time to give we tense up and question is it worth doing. Getting rich was the objective for what i wanted to do then it became the last thing i thought about. I want to do all my goals simply because i owe it to myself. I think back to people and the things they do and did for me and they were all perceived as “favors” and or ” gifts”.

  1. If i ask you for help, it was the last thing i wanted to do.
  2. If you do people a favor, DO NOT FEEL ENTITLED TO ANYTHING IN RETURN
  3. You helping other people does not make you this god among men, you are supposed to look out for each other.

Today i had a women who i do not know never even had a conversation with put money in a parking meter cause iw as late to return she had put 1 hour worth and i was walking back and had offered to repay her and she refused and said ” it is the right thing to do” . That stunned me. one because it was worth an hour and to she did not want to be paid back. I’ve had “friends” want 50 cents back ive had family help me and them turn it around and make them feel as if they are some type of god and blessing to me for their help. Then to have a stranger help me and want nothing in return was just like why.

 

Getting  old 

After this summer and doing the things that people my age do and just having fun i had realized it is fun, but the people associated with the fun lifestyle are all dead ends. The girl who always wants to go the parties yeah she’s a burnout. and connections only goes as far as the private party being hosted by the entertainer who is in town.  The guy who has the nice car before 25 and has the “money” does not have the money. He has money now cause we are young and nearly all broke none of us are touching 50 grand plus a year, but they are and in our eyes they are getting money they have the nice cars, clothes, their own places well the newsflash is they are supposed to. they are hitting mid 20’s and if you are still on the same level as a 18 19 year old that is a problem. I woke up after being surrounded by stupid to realize i am better than stupid, i am smarter than stupid and i can profit off letting the stupid go. The older you get and the more people you meet and places you go the moe you learn about yourself. And i want to make money and become somebody.

 

I used to think i was this person who had a communication problem, simply because everytime i tried to exlplain myself to others they would try to tell me about myself and my thinking. And nobody can tell you about you besides you. I did not realzie my complete power until i was typing my paper earlier today and had gone over a list i had made my junior year of things i wanted to do by the time i ws 21 and out of the 5o i had done 43. I just turned 19. I used to think i needed people and when in reality people need you. There is power in your words and even more in your actions. Big minds scare little people.  So what i am trying to say is dream bigger then your homewotn/ state. dream bigger then your familys vision of who you should be. be somebody for yourslef becasue nobody is going to remember the person who setteled but everybody will discuss the person who was insane enough to actually chase their dreams. And personally i would prefer to be discussed then just another body on the street.

 

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2 thoughts on “Just dead them.

  1. WOW. I WAS HUMMING EXACTLY,EXACTLY AND EXACTLY WHILE READING THROUGH YOUR POST.

    You are definitely on a right path darlin and this is the path on which I would like to be too! I loved it when you said ,”other people seem rich because we are broke” YES! In a generation where going to a fancy restaurant and having a “pretty looking dinner” is considered as wild & successful,glad there are peeps like you who STILL know the real definition of success. Parties,friends,clubbing are NOT the definition of a GREAT life! That is only a life we are begging to be accepted among the sheep.

    It is definitely not necessary to be available to people all the time,and it is good you don’t respond to the text messages in a jiffy. If you do,they take it for granted.

    I thoroughly agree with every bit of the post. Mind if I reblog?
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

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