9teen

Nobody really tells you you’re doing wrong until the damage is done. I realize that everything I have done wrong no one has made a point to tell me I was doing wrong until I was damn near done destroying everything. Whether it was me blowing off a assignment, me studying the wrong chapter for an exam, or me just doing Tyanna thing and getting a Tyanna outcome. Nobody bothers to tell me that life happens, everyone just makes a point to tell you that your actions determine your future no one ever says that stuff happens unexpectedly and is simply just out of our control. As I’ve been spending a lot of time analyzing my decisions and just thinking what I could’ve done different, if I could avoid certain people, if I just would’ve never talked to this person where I’ll be in a different spot right now. And I know you’re not supposed to do dwell on the past and re-think every mistake you did but it’s hard not to question what if.

I feel like I do the thing where when I see people I don’t see them for them I see them for the potential that they have. I’ll look past who they are because I have a feeling of who they can be and personally I believe in who they can be is bigger than the who they are. But on the realistic side of living in who they are is the current situation will be around you what kind of energy to bring into your life that’s the reality. And you really may sucks we have to embrace it and we have to learn that we can’t change people, in order for people to change they must want to change themselves. And I realize I wasted some time attempting to change people who had no desire to change. Weather was trying to build a dumb ass into a respectful man, or turn a ditz into a scholar, or try to sneak into a friend. I learned you cannot change those who have no desire to change himself and attending to do so is a complete waste of time. I realize I have to become realistic with what people give you is what you’re going to get like you can’t expect nothing more nothing less. Honestly you can’t expect anything from people anymore if you want it you have to go out there and get it yourself supply for yourself and just live for yourself.

I’ve only been 19 for like three months and I have learned so much about myself and these past three months. My 18 was kind of sheltered due the fact I was always working in school and I have a much for social life but come in like May of this year author now I’ve been out and about just meeting new people and I’ve learned so much. And also while learning i messed up, I blew money on stupid things I wasted time on people who do not even deserve a hello I attempted to change that and unchangeable I was being 19. I feel like the world expects you to grow up graduate you know what you want out of life and the thing is we have ideas of what we want but we’re still young we don’t really know what we want we had the vision like this is what we want to do you want to be when the fact is we change every day. It’s almost robotic know what you want and you have it stay the same every day people change people grow people shrink you’re supposed to be forever changing not stuck in this robotic ass lifestyle. Age I feel like  living A robotic lifestyle you’re bound to mess up. 

I blew test, I never study for quizzes, I’ve befriended fake people, I acted like I like certain people just so that I could get homework answers, I lied to people, I’ve gotten the arguments with people over the stupidest things, I’ve lost friends simply because we cannot agree on minor things, and that’s life. People sit around and act like there saints who can do no wrong and that they never messed up in life and if you never messed up on one thing are you really living? 

Good things come to those who chances, if I went over to the chance to start this blog I would’ve never had over 1000 followers in America and then followers outside of the country. if I would’ve never chanced it I would’ve never started a YouTube channel needs met all you guys and met some of the friends I had and some of the best nights of my life we’re doing things I was told not to do growing up. That’s the beauty in chancing it! I think I’m at that age where I feel like I know it all but I don’t know enough and I’m living as if it’s my last day because no one knows when we’re going to go. I’m 19 I have the time to see what I like to double my feet round because I don’t want to be that old person that looks back and realizes I did nothing that I wanted to do. Or that I devoted my time trying to help and impress people who did not give a damn about me.

Moral of the story is you can’t make everyone happy because then you’ll never be happy. You have to realize in order to be happy you have to chance things, and make mistakes, and realize it’s okay to mess up. We are taught that mistakes are avoidable and that if we can we should avoid them but we weren’t born in a bubble for a reason people. Sometimes mistakes need to happen to get us from point A to point B. And it’s okay to mess up if you do chance it. I have wanted to blog since I was 12 but was always afraid of what others would say about my post, it took me 6 years to get over that fear and when I took the chance I’m mad i waited so long because I love it. I love writing it, I love reading comments and I love seeing it help people. I’m not asking you to become a daredevil, simply asking you when are you going to start living for yourself and not others?  

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