A letter to ” Half”

Half.
All you ever gave me was half.

I could write a novel on things that i wasted my time and energy on when it comes to you, but then that would dedicate more time to you , and Half you do not deserve my whole.

Sorry, sorry is all i think i ever wanted to come out of your mouth, i think i earned a sorry from you. Dedicating time to somebody is not what i usually do, and it something i rarely do. I truthfully do not enjoy doing it and wish that I would put my trust and time into somebody who was worth it, not you.

Half, you are honestly the best and the most painful lesson i think i had to learn so far in my life. And what makes me so mad about you is you were not always half, you used to be whole, you used to be honest, you used to be somebody i knew, well at least thought i knew. but we all are good with our words when needed and you were smooth with yours, and i got tricked, i was a fool right? I mean that is why i let you carry it on so long right? why i constantly came back trying to fix something i should of left alone in the first place

My father taught me better
The movies exposed me to guys like you
Hell all the music i listen to warned me about you
However Half i believed that there was something bigger and better within you, then the cliche for which society put upon you.

You see Half, i see things and people in their Whole. I have never been the type to give up and walk away when things got tough, and that is our biggest flaw when it comes to me and you. You are cheat, you are simple, you are half.

you want to mess up and not fix it
you want to lie but expect the truth
you want to viewed as somebody who can get everybody and that half is why you will never have anybody

When i used to think of you, i would get mad.
I would think about our conversations, hell to be honest i still have them. And the craziest part is half, i gave you a chance. I was in my own little world i was actually doing well and living pretty happy, what was your point?

why would you even want to talk to me, if you had others
Why ever suggest the movies?
Why would you double text me, and then after again since you did not get a response?
why the hell would you want my attention so bad, when you had plenty of options already waiting for yours
What about me, made you so determined to come into my life and mess it all up?

And you know what half, i almost never responded to you, i almost read and ignored and carried on with talking to my friend, but i answered. And we became more acquainted and that moment right there half, that is the moment i will forever wish i would have followed my gut. I had a feeling to not respond but you half, i took a chance.

You knew i was big on chances. it is something everybody knows about me. But you half, i will never give you a second chance, because you know you were never meant to receive the first.

I am a firm believer in god, i believe he put you in my path for a reason and i sm grateful i did meet you, though our time together and knowing each other was a menace 6 months you half, i have never met nor do i think will meet anybody like you.

You were funny. you were fun, but like the famous saying, all glitter is not gold.

You and I will never be on the same page.
You and I will never be on the same maturity level.
You and I will never be friends, acquaintances, hell we will not even be strangers.
Because You and I do not have the same type of heart.

You see for the longest time I was trying to figure out what i did wrong, when it was nothing.
I had finally let my guard down to somebody
I had finally allowed myself to be vulnerable
For the firs time i actually fully trusted somebody else aside from myself
And you nearly ruined it

You really put the D in dick
The D in Dumbass
And L for Lost

I had met you at a time where i thought had everything figured out
where I thought i knew it all
You gave me the wakeup call I needed
thank you

Since you vanished, more life for appeared
It was not your humor that I liked so bad
It was not your stupid smirk that I was intrigued by
It was never you half
You showed me a side of me I thought had and could never exist.

You showed me I have the heart, to take chances against all odds
You showed me I am a person who has the full ability to see past flaws
You showed me I have feelings, that i am not some cold stone bitch
You showed me a person who should never settle for half, because I am whole.

So as you read this and realize you are the half all I have to say is

keep the texts the way you have, none
keep the calls the way you have, none
and lastly keep your presence the way you have, none

Half, I hope one day you find your own whole
I hope you realize there is more to life then in the moment people and actions
But most importantly, I hope your half teaches you and not destroys you.

Life is tough, and being an adult and still a child all in the same time is confusing.
I do not hate you, I do not dislike you, I care about you, i really do.
However
I want nothing to do with you.
Not now
Not in the future
You are simply a lesson in a chapter I am closing as of now.

I think after I realized every lie that came out your mouth
After seeing you for who you really are

and for realizing that you were my first real chance when it came to my feelings and time

I really hope you find your happiness half
And thank you for all you taught me by never being whole.

The last time I will ever address you,

T’yanna

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