Last words are Immortal

 

Everytime we talk to somebody we are unaware if that will be the last thing we’ll ever get to say to that person, and that is terrifying to think about. I know I am guilty of leaving my last words with people as mean or sometimes i do not even leave a lastword just a emoji. I think about some of the conversations about the people i love and i can remember i said to them all.

My ex: ” you do not know a damn thing just leave me the hell alone”

My best friend Jacqueline: ” I love you”

My grandma: ” I will be downstairs doing nothing if you need me”

My sister: ” Okay, bye”

I only told one of them i love you, and i have been in conflicts with all of them, and i know out of all the nice things i have said to them, it is the mean things that i said to them are going to stick with them forever. We as people can remember every bad thing people have said about us and struggle to remember the good due to the fact we tend to believe the bad before the good.

When it comes to this my Ex is the perfect example of last words being immortal. He is probably the only person i ever end 6 out of 10 conversations with badly. And i know you are reading like ” why do you keep talking to him then” and i just wanted to say we don’t it is more of us as strangers who run into each other here and there from time to time. For some odd reason when people get into disagreements and bumps in the road with each other they just cut each other off and go on with life, and you throw the shade on twitter, post the quote pictures on instagrams, and even listen to songs that relate to your current situation however nobody talks to try to get to a resolution, they talk just to over talk the other person.

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words are simply words, however it all ties back too whose mouth they came out of. I know i have hurt people with words as people have hurt me with words, and that is the cycle of life and that is just how things work in the world. But the more i thought about the whole idea, it is simple, when you get upset with people especially the ones you love the easiest thing but hardest you can do is walk away. Simply go stevie wonder to the bullshit and keep it pushing. I know growing up i was TERRIBLE with this, i would retaliate and go out to hurt people’s feelings 10 times worse than hurt mine and i would be successful, the person who taught me the importance of listening and shutting my mouth was honestly my ex simply because he would not let me overtake him. He would not scream, he would not throw things around like wild animal, he simply would just stop talking. And when you get hit with the silent treatment….. sis you be shook  

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This was me when he would shut up and simply say ” i am done talking” and i would continue my dragging of his self esteem, and soul then i realized everything i was saying i did not mean and 2. i actually cared if he decided he had enough and would end up leaving me. so it was him when he told me ” T’yanna if you just shut your mouth for just 1 minute let me explain then maybe you would understand” and let me tell you when i shut my mouth for that minute EVERYTHING WAS BEGINNING TO CLICK!!!!!

 

I would let him get all he had to say out and not interrupt and i was not asking questions as he’s talking and i would not say ” ohhh you’re lying” or ” that is bullshit” i simply let him talk and as i listened i was able to put myself in his perspective. and by doing this i had not had to lose my mind and go off on him and call him all the names that i heard my dad scream while playing 2k.  And from this i would take it into situations with my friends and other family members and in a way it must turned me off to the whole idea of arguing. I do not entertaining arguing unless somebody is cutting me a check to argue. Because 99 percent of arguments are over the most smallest things that can easily be discussed without having to yell and scream.

When i think back to my words and my last words with some people i think i left off good with some, bad with others, and some i did not really ever close the chapter just walked away and it used to bother me because i hate not receiving closure then i realized my whole life closure has never been a thing i get. And in a way i am sort of grateful for that, always having to write a end to a chapter myself has made me very independent and mentally strong. I always have to remind myself ” hurt people hurt people”  And i am not a hurt person and i do not get anything off of hurting other people but really a headache and some wicked karma.

So when you are talking to somebody whether you love them, hate them, or do not even know them just make sure you think before you speak and try to say one nice thing because it goes a long way. i know when i had shitty days and somebody would compliment me or something i was wearing that would change my whole mood. be somebodys ray of sunshine do not be that asshole that just messes up their whole day because you are mad and frustrated. Because as i always say life is short and you never know if the last thing you said to somebody may be the last thing they ever will hear from you.
 

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