Tyanna Knows

IMG_1463.JPG Did i ever tell you guys i love to take pictures, and have my picture taken ( when i am in the mood). This picture above I was in Tallahassee Florida, visiting my friend Michelle who was graduating from The Florida State, and this picture is my favorite from the hundred i took from there simply because i was free. I was not worried about school, family, work, college, simply wondering when we were gonna go to the pool and if i was gonna get the tan i was in desperate need of. 

 

IMG_1665.JPG       In Florida i had learned a lot of things about myself and other people, here are just a few 

  • I am such a people person, i enjoy making new friends it just hard for me to find genuine people 
  • Some of my ” friends” back home do not like me for me, simply use me for thins i offer 
  • Though i am 19 turning 20 my father will still find the slightest thing to worry about me and blow it into this Taken meets Law and Order SVU mixup  
  • Florida though crazy is simply beautiful 
  • I completely and utterly can not stand Michigan, especially the winter cause i hate the snow 
  • Boys only seem to miss you when another guy is trying to talk to you 
  • My cat Jasper is the only guy who has the ability to piss me the hell off over and over again but is the first little animal/thing i look for when i am upset. 

fullsizeoutput_2ef1.jpegIn the past month i had convinced myself of many things, things i know damn well is not real and is just my emotional ass going through a phase. The first thing i had convinced myself of was that i had found my soulmate. I realized i have a bad habit for thinking anybody who is nice o me and ask me about my life goals and seems to give a genuine fuck about me can patiently be my person. when in reality it is simply I am just an amazing person. i hold great conversations, i am nice to look at, and i am hilarious. Though we may not be made for each other we were meant to cross paths for some reason. 

The second thing i had convinced myself is that i am a jackass, i realized when people would ask me why don’t i settle down with one guy? why do i say i have ” multiple” boyfriends, it was just me being a jackass when in reality it was me simply being me. I prefer to mix and mingle and see what the hell is out there. which leads me to number three 

The third thing i was lying to myself about was that i have ym life figured out and planned. I do not know a damn thing, i just sort of wing everything and hope for the best, i have nothing set in stone and kind of just go with the flow of life, and though very dangerous in some aspects it is woking for me. 

 

6358142078353008961170752147_giphy Basically to wrap it all up it all up i do not know what the hell my life is right now. i finally got a dream yet am losing people out my life left and right. i am losing weight and gaining weight seems like every other week.  my hair smells like coconut oil and ” dream big” oil essences. my nails and toes are pretty, college is going great, and i cry as little as twice a week.  But at least i can say i am trying and succeeding.  I gave up on friendships, relationships, anything that was drowning me and holding me back is just gone. and though my heart needs time to heal i will continue to put myself through everything i see worth time because one day somebody is going to com across my blog and read it and they are going to take into consideration what i am saying and all that I want you reading this to know is if you do not become a misguided hot mess you are not trying to reach your full potential. 

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