Fuck you, signed: T’yanna

I had recently got a new phone meaning  basically, a new beginning. no text message threads, hundreds of screenshots simply a clean fresh plate. My camera is amazing and  have hella storage it is nice. However having anew phone enables you to scroll down memory lane with your old phone and think about things that simply should have been left dead in the past.

I first began in my pictures, and i had 1000 plus and i could remember how i felt in the exact moment of very photo. some i was super happy and wishing the day would never end, others i was so sleepy and you could literally see it screaming that from the bags under my eyes and others i was sad but looked amazing. the thousands of pictures was telling a story.

Then i transitioned to my text message threads and boy oh boy. that place is a ” Waste my time land-zone”  threads with my sister sharing funny memes, the conversation with my father about him sending me money, and conversations with brianna regarding why we hate men, or conversations with zaria about how i love being ignored and about to simply email the person.

I was scrolling over all my social media apps, and all these things that had allowed me to share my time and life with other people, giving them the power to form their own opinion of me and my life, and i realized that power gives people entitlement.

Yes i am pretty, and i know it and do i get perks for my looks yes that is something i am not going to deny. do people want to talk to me yes, but out of 10 only one will have genuine intentions with me. Yes i am social, i know a lot of people and know when and where the parties are and if they are worth going to or not, but i do not go to every single party i hear about. Yes i am young and seem to only be in college and working. i am the girl with what seems to be the basics of the normal ” college kid life ” going on and that is where me and  people clash because they form this opinion of me before even knowing me.

The pretty little phone in my hand and the nice little bill it comes with – i paid for

All the clothes I wear and flash around in- I buy

The good paying jobs I get and have- i got/get off my ass and go get them

Me bragging about school and all my accomplishments – my mom had me at 19 and her mom had her at 19, I am 19 with no kids an Associate degree, amazing credit, and a job i adore.

I am humble, i know all that i have can be taken away. I am well aware however it is going to be a cold day in hell before i ever downplay myself to make those around me comfortable. I do not play sports so professional athletics not me, i can not dance so background dancing for Beyoncé is not me, and i do not plan on ever making a sex tape with a celebrity and then feeding off the hype to become a socialite. One thing i do have is ambition, along with determination, courage and a good heart.

i broke every goal i had set for myself by this age, i have talked to every person i said i wanted to get to know, and i have tried every hairstyle/color i could possibly think of. I have forgiven people i have sworn i had headed, and i managed to break myself down 100 times and build myself back up 101 times. and social media will never tell you that because it is truly nobodys fucking business what i do with my life.

Who i am talking to is nobodys business

What my grades are is nobodys business

How i feel about certain things and people is nobodys fucking business

stop concerning yourself with me if you  only know me through social media.

I never met people in real life, but they are out there in the world telling story after story about me, I never spoken to some people simply where in the same place with them at the same time, and they have a forever impression of me. i have done nothing but live my life by my choices and it has pissed some people off.

i like reading,sunsets,animals,pizza and meeting new people. i like talking to people getting to know people because i learn best from people. i hate the word moist and spiders and black walls with white decor. I grew up the oldest of 5, my whole life i thought i was crazy because i felt like a piece of me was missing. i hate outside yet feel the most content outside. I listen to music for nearly half the day. i do not let the microwave run till it is done, and my social media is what i want people to see, what i want people to think it is not and never will be me.

I hope you reading this understand there is a world outside social media, and those that judge you based off it do not deserve to know you off of it.

 

 

xoxo, T’yanna

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